


Feels Like Home

by Fandom_Dreamer



Category: Dynasty (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Episode Fix-it, Established Relationship, F/M, Post Episode 3x20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24168151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_Dreamer/pseuds/Fandom_Dreamer
Summary: Fallon and Liam have a conversation after the events in 3x20 and Fallon comes to a realisation of her own.
Relationships: Fallon Carrington/Liam Ridley
Comments: 7
Kudos: 50





	Feels Like Home

Fallon was sitting on the edge of the velvet pouffe, staring intently into the fireplace as the last of the paper burnt away. She was almost completely transfixed, trying hard to ignore the churning in her stomach in favour of the cathartic blackening of her ill-thought out plan. In truth, she was still trying hard to settle from the chaotic events of her bachelorette party and the rollercoaster of emotions that it had brought on. She still felt a wave of relief every time she remembered that she hadn’t accidentally married someone else, but she couldn’t shift the anxiety that had been following her around ever since. It felt like she was walking a tightrope in her relationship, and it was only a matter of time until she screwed up again and fell off. What was worse was her latest argument with Liam over Moldavia had shaken her trust almost as much in Liam as it had in herself. After the events of the weekend, she could understand his point of view with a now almost comical clarity, she was always making a mess of things, especially with those she cared the most about. Hell, Liam didn’t even know about the debacle surrounding her wedding gift to him and he had still thought it was a bad idea to tell her the truth. She dropped her head into her hands, rubbing her forehead as the familiar tightness began to spread, reminding her of just how little sleep she’d had and how stressed she was. Still, she stayed put, unable to find the motivation to move. 

Liam stood quietly, barely moving as he peered through the half open door at his fiancé. He’d watched curiously as she’d thrown the last of some paper onto the open fire and then sat back to watch it burn. He knew Sam had whisked her away for her bachelorette party, but he’d felt a little guilty all weekend that they hadn’t exactly parted on the best of terms. Predictably, Fallon hadn’t been happy when she found out about her father’s imprisonment and subsequent rescue; the argument that had ensued had left a bad taste in his mouth and he’d been preoccupied with it most of the weekend. He frowned as he watched Fallon rub her head, deciding now was as good as time to announce his presence; he slipped into the room, no longer trying to remain quiet. As it was, Fallon was so deep inside her own head she didn’t hear him approach. 

“Hey” his voice was soft but she jumped anyway, looking up in surprise.  
“Hey” she muttered but offered him something similar to a smile.  
“Can I join?” he gestured to the too small gap on the remainder of the pouffe. Fallon looked between him and the gap before raising an eyebrow.  
“Come on” he held his hands out as a peace offering, unconsciously holding his breath for the beat it took Fallon to accept his offer. She allowed him to help her to her feet and then over to the more spacious sofa a few paces away. As they settled down, there was a noticeable distance between the pair although neither made an attempt to disentangle their hands. While the silence was abnormal for them, it wasn’t entirely uncomfortable. Liam took a moment to look at Fallon, really look at her. Her face was tense, and her body language wasn’t as defined as normal, she looked almost gathered in on herself, which worried Liam. Fallon focused her gaze on their entwined hands, trying to lose herself in the way the light from the fire reflected of their skin. 

“We need to talk” Liam broke the silence gently and felt Fallon tense almost immediately as the words left his mouth.  
“Isn’t that usually my line?” she attempted the brush off that she’d mastered so well over the years, but Liam had always been able to see straight through her.  
“How was your weekend?” He tried for a neutral topic.  
“A complete disaster” Fallon admitted, there was no point in lying to him now, but she didn’t expand any further until she realised Liam wasn’t going to say anything until she did.  
“We basically got roofied, Alison ended up in hospital while the rest of us were arrested” Liam took his turn in raising an eyebrow at her words “Oh and Sam married a stripper apparently using my engagement ring” Liam’s eyes flicked straight down to her finger where the peach diamond still sat as it had done he’d given it to her, the light from the flames dancing off of it.  
“Yeah, I got it back apparently even drugged I remembered to get collateral” Fallon shook her head, wondering if she’d ever be able to forget the previous weekend. She still felt a little sick every time she remembered how close she had come to losing the ring.  
“How was yours?” 

Liam’s mind was racing but he was putting all his effort into remaining as outwardly calm as he could muster. Fallon had been drugged? And in jail? He didn’t know if he was more exasperated, annoyed or simply glad that she was still in one piece. He made a mental note to try and get some more of the story out of Sam later.  
“Well, not as eventful as yours but not really that great”  
“Oh?”  
“Yeah, see I couldn’t stop thinking about that last conversation we had” He felt her tense again, and he unconsciously tightened his grip on her hands ever so slightly, unwilling to let them go just yet.  
“I think conversation is putting it mildly”.  
Liam inclined his head slightly, allowing a half smile as he looked her in the eyes for the first time since entering the room. He felt his gut twist a bit further at the uncertainty and anxiousness that was clearly displayed there.  
“I don’t think it was either of our finest hours”  
Fallon shook her head in agreement.  
“For what it’s worth, I am sorry I didn’t tell you”  
Fallon looked at Liam in surprise, not expecting the apology.  
“I had my reasons and I still think I made the right decision in some ways but” he took a breath “I was so busy thinking about how you’d react and whether it would ruin our plan, I didn’t stop to think about how keeping that information from you would make you feel”.  
Liam had been turning it over in his head all weekend at first frustrated that Fallon couldn’t see his point of view, when even she’d admitted to him many times before that she tended to go overboard on things. It was in the early hours of the previous morning that he tried to put himself in her place, a trick he often used when he was trying to overcome writer’s block. He realised he’d been so caught up in the plan, he’d accidentally bypassed his fiancé’s feelings. 

“Thanks, but, if we’re being honest here, you weren’t wrong” Now it was Liam’s turn to look surprised.  
“I don’t think you were right to keep it from me” Fallon said hurriedly, still unwilling to compromise on that particular point.  
“But you probably weren’t wrong as to how I would have reacted” She let out a sigh and Liam started stroking the back of her hand with his thumb without even realising he was doing it.  
“I’m struggling, Liam” she stated plainly “And I think this just was the trigger that finally made me notice”.  
Liam’s heart started to beat a little faster, trying to work out what Fallon was trying to tell him, but she’d gone quiet again.  
“Fal, talk to me” his tone was soft but pleading.  
“I don’t trust myself, Liam” she met his eyes again, almost wincing at the hurt reflected in the blue “No matter how hard I try, all I seem to do is screw it up and” she paused, trying to get the words right “it feels like it’s only a matter of time until it’s one screw up to far”  
“Fallon” Liam tried to interrupt but she shook her head.  
“It feels like everything in my life is a fight right now, between what we’ve been through, Alexis and her second career, Blake and his endless drama; it’s just too much” her voice trembled ever so slightly, and she was taken aback to feel moisture pricking at her eyes. Liam swallowed, trying to take in everything Fallon was saying, dreading the next words out of her mouth.  
“Ever since Blake’s damn trial I’ve just been terrified what feels like all the time and, no matter what I do, I can’t shake it”. It wasn’t at all what Liam expected her to say.  
“What are you so scared of?”  
Fallon bit her lip, not wanting to say anymore, the conversation already making her feel far too vulnerable.  
“Fallon?”  
“Losing you” her lips barely moved, but she may as well have shouted it to Liam who heard it loud and clear.  
“Oh Fallon” he drew her into a tight embrace, burying his head in her hair in an attempt to offer comfort but while she accepted his embrace, the tension didn’t leave her body.  
“I’m not going anywhere, you know that”  
“No, I don’t” the words were mumbled against his chest before she started to draw back. Liam reluctantly let her go, but they drew back to a position where they could look directly at each other. “Every time I think we’re finally going straight and clear something else happens. If it’s not my homicidal brother, it’s your crazy mother, or your illegitimate sort-of son who wasn’t, or amnesia and trashley and that’s just the last few months, it doesn’t even start to cover everything that happened before that” Fallon had barely drawn breath.  
“Okay, okay” Liam soothed as Fallon started to get herself worked up “I agree it hasn’t exactly been plain sailing, but can’t you see how much we’ve overcome to still be here? And how much that means?”  
“I should” Fallon admitted “But it’s like it’s being drowned out by an overwhelming dread instead”. 

It would have been an exaggeration to say that Liam thought he could feel his heart breaking for her. While his upbringing had been no picnic, and he thought most of his family were certifiably insane, he had come out of it with a definitive sense of self; he’d made the decision to distance which had been mostly successful, mostly. Fallon was still tied up in it all, and maybe she always would be to some extent. The disaster that had been her parent’s marriage, her mother’s apparent abandonment, her father’s subsequent failed marriages, losing Steven but it was then a thought struck Liam. 

Michael Culhane. 

Fallon’s previous fiancé, his once rival and now grudgingly respected acquaintance; it felt like too much of stretch to call him a friend. The only time Fallon had been so close with someone outside of her family apart from Liam was when she was dating Michael. Michael who she’d let almost all the way in before he lied to her, before everything got ruined by the lie. Fair enough, Fallon had started having feelings for him, but she’d been committed to Michael and pushed them aside, although it had broken Liam’s heart at the time. Now he was beginning to think that Fallon’s issues ran deeper than even she knew, and inadvertently it felt to her like history was repeating itself. 

“Fallon, look at me” he took his hands in hers again, waiting for her to meet his gaze “Yes, we argued and yes, we disagreed but it would take a hell of a lot more to make me even consider leaving, this won’t be like before”

Fallon chewed on her lip again, of course Liam had joined the dots up between this and how things had ended with Michael, even though then Fallon had been the one to end it. The thought of ending things with Liam was almost physically painful to her, something she refused to even consider which had come out in a twisted, over-the-top prenup not a calm conversation that she supposed normal people would have. 

“What would it take though?” Fallon’s insecurities were quick to reassert themselves and Liam found himself sighing audibly in exasperation.  
“Fallon it isn’t something you can put a number on, I hope to God that nothing ever happens like that” he was insistent, determined to get through to her.  
“You make me so happy, even when we are fighting which is endlessly frustrating when all I really want to do is be mad” he chuckled but Fallon didn’t manage more than a twitch of the corner of her lips.  
“But instead all I can think about is how we are going to fix it so we can get back to being happy again” Liam finished earnestly, shifting slightly closer to her on the sofa again.  
“I’m not saying I think you were right, or that I’ll always come around to your way of thinking but that doesn’t make me love you any less”.  
He saw a flash of confusion pass over her face, of course, she came from a world where love tended to appear conditional.  
“I really wish I could believe you” her voice broke as a few tears spilled out of her eyes, having come on too quickly for her to do anything about them. This time she didn’t resist Liam’s embrace as he held her as close as could. She felt like she was falling apart. She felt the familiar comfort of Liam’s embrace and wanted to bury herself in it but was equally buffeted with the dread and insecurity; feelings that for so long she had carried around without even realising.

“What can I do? What can I do to make you believe me?” The words were quiet with a desperation creeping in. Liam had never seen Fallon quite like this, not really. He’d seen her unsure when they’d sat on the piano stool and she’d told him about Trixie, he seen her close to tears on that awful day at the ski resort but now she sounded completely defeated. 

His words only made more tears spill from Fallon’s eyes; now aware she was creating a damp patch on his shirt. It was so Liam to just want to fix it for her, his endless compassion was one of the things she loved most about him; it had been such a foreign concept to her when they first met. Now, it just amplified the guilt of what she kept putting him through. She felt the small vibrations in his chest as he tried to soothe her, the loving hand stroking her hair and down her back. She gripped his shirt, desperately trying to gather herself together. 

After a few more minutes and a few shaky breaths she pulled back. Liam searched her face, anxious to understand what she was feeling, what she was thinking but it was too awash with emotion to determine. He gave her a moment as she swiped the remaining moisture from her face before she looked at him again and started to speak.

“I don’t think it’s anything you can do Liam” her voice was shaky “I think this is an all me issue, and I’m sorry for making you deal with it for so long”

“Hey, don’t be like that, remember what you said to me the night of the engagement party?” she looked at him, only really remembering that it was yet another situation where she’d gone overboard.  
“When we were sitting on the stairs and I was freaking out over the thought of being a father?” he clarified “You sat next to me and reassured me and said it was our problem to deal with”  
Fallon blinked.  
“And this is the same, we’re a team Fal and we’re going to work through this together as I’m sure we will many other things over the rest of our lives”  
He spoke with so much conviction and so much sincerity, Fallon felt something inside her jolt.  
“But we need to communicate Fallon” he winced slightly, hoping Fallon would let it slide that his lack of communication, rightly or wrongly, had triggered all of this “I had no idea how insecure you felt in our relationship”  
“I guess, I buried all the negative feelings as it was easier than dragging it all up” Fallon said quietly “But now it feels like I’m suffocating, and everything is about to fall apart”  
Liam frowned; he always knew Fallon had been highly strung, but this was starting to scare him.  
“Fallon” he started gently “You know it’s not normal to feel like that, at least not all the time”  
Fallon looked at him blankly, as though she didn’t quite understand.  
“But I do always feel like that or at least I have been for the last few months” Fallon trailed off, considering her own words as though it was the first time it had occurred to her.  
“Fallon you’ve been through a lot the last year”  
“Me? You’re the one who nearly died and then had amnesia?” Fallon looked at Liam like he’d sprouted a tail.  
“Yes, but that affected you too, and with everything else that’s happened it might have crept up without either of us noticing”  
“Crept up?” Fallon started to sound irate now “What are you even talking about?”. There was a clear warning in her voice, but Liam ignored it.  
“Fallon, I think you need to talk to someone”. 

It took less than a second for Fallon’s walls to slam into place, it would have been comical to Liam had the situation not been so serious. Her whole body tensed, her face pinched and brows furrowed as she tried to distance herself from him. 

“Don’t be so ridiculous” it was a snap, but it was lacking the usual bite; as if Liam needed any further indication that things weren’t right with her. She was trying to lash out because she was scared, not because she was angry.  
“Fallon, come on think about everything you’ve just said” Liam’s tone was firm but not unkind “You shouldn’t spend every single day feeling like lightening is about to strike, you shouldn’t be so scared of making a mistake that you end up doing crazy things to avoid it”  
“I’m not crazy”  
“I never said you were Fal, I’m not suggesting you pour your heart out to the first stranger you come across, but you can’t carry on like this”  
“I don’t need a therapist; I just need to work on it”  
“Because that’s worked out so well so far?” Liam was trying not to get riled but struggling. “Fallon we’ve not spoken all weekend where apparently you didn’t use your jail phone call on me, you’ve just burnt god-knows-what on a fire and then dissolved into tears because you’re terrified of something you can barely admit to yourself, exactly what part of this is it that you think is normal?”

Fallon sat, stunned into silence by his outburst. Every fibre of her being was screaming at her to leave, to walk straight out because how dare he talk to her like that. But she didn’t move. His words echoed around her head, her own words from earlier repeating. She looked at him expecting to see scorn but found instead exasperation, kindness and something she was pretty sure was love; she noticed a long time ago that Liam’s eyes were some of the most expressive she’d ever encountered. He wasn’t like her; he couldn’t bury feelings and he was a terrible liar. Insecurity punched her again, but it triggered something else at the same time. 

“Okay”  
“Huh?” Liam was so surprised at the words that had left his fiancé’s mouth, his usual eloquence that came with being a writer departed him.  
“I said okay” Fallon repeated, somewhat stronger “I don’t like the idea, at all but I think you’re right”  
“It’s small steps Fallon” he took her hands again and relished as he felt her immediately grasp his back. “Not all therapy is about feelings anyway, some of it is techniques and-”  
“Yeah, maybe quit while you’re ahead” Fallon warned, although with a gentle tease to her words. “I’m not saying it’ll work, and I still think you should have told me about Blake”  
“Can we agree to disagree on that one?” Liam said cautiously until he caught the look on her face, she was winding him up. He broke into a smile which earned him a small smile back, before her face took on a more serious expression.  
“You said about communication, so I need the same from you, I need to know you won’t keep things from me because of how I might react or because you think it will hurt my feelings”  
Liam swallowed, wanting more than anything to agree but being held back by his more rational side.  
“And I promise that I’ll do the same, I’ll tell you everything, no secrets or hidden plans or, you know, surprise rented children” She tried to inject a small amount humour to ease the atmosphere.  
“Okay” Liam nodded “but with one condition”  
“What’s that?”  
“We don’t storm out anymore” Fallon thought that was quite generous, given that storming out was almost exclusively her remit.  
“We talk it out and when we disagree, we talk it out some more” Liam stated. “I don’t want either of us to be walking out of a room feeling insecure”  
“But we won’t always agree on things-” Fallon started, unable to see how what Liam was suggesting could even work.  
“No, that’s not what I’m saying” Liam interrupted “But we should be able to leave conversations in a place where we know that no matter how much we disagree, or may be irritated or annoyed with each other, that we still are secure in the fact that we love each other”.  
Fallon felt a fuzzy warmth flood through her, realising this was almost more for her benefit than Liam’s although, if it worked, it would make both of them feel better in the long run.  
“Like a time out?”  
“Yeah, just like that” Fallon found a lump in her throat.  
“Sounds good” her voice nearly cracked for the second time that evening. This time she shifted closer to Liam and moved her arms just a fraction of a second before he did. She could practically feel his smile into her head as he pressed a light kiss. Fallon took a deep breath, letting their breathing sync up and revelling in the comforting warmth.  
“I really love you” For a moment, Fallon wasn’t even sure she’d said the words out loud. They’d slipped out so naturally she couldn’t help herself.  
“I really love you too Fallon” she tilted her head to look up at him “and I always will”. She smiled and started to close the gap, enjoying the feeling as his lips made contact with hers. It felt like home.

**Author's Note:**

> So it was just an idea of how things could have ended up which sort of ran away with me. I think because of the format of the show there's some things they never get to show and the emotional fall out to some of things that goes on just never gets addressed. I'm also a sucker for angst. No beta so all mistakes are my own.  
> Hope you liked it and feel free to let me know what you think.


End file.
